Originally Posted by lightthecandle
I feel like ever since I was 10, I was never pretty or smart enough for myself or anyone . now that I think about it, its been killing me inside and really burning a whole in my heart. Yes, I might be 'pretty' , well to some, but I have these deep acne scars on my face that look terrible when people get close to me. and I hate the fact that I still haven't hit my goal of getting a 4.0 for a semester.
I NEVER want to be the girl who kills herself and leaves a note behind saying it happened because SHE felt she wasn't "pretty" or "smart" enough. God, I hope not.
and all the personal development I read is getting me nowhere, or at least not nearly as well as I want to be. I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
I get what you're feeling. Right until I was 16 I had perfect skin and reasonably good looks. When I hit 17 though all hell broke loose on my face, there's acne and then there's acne. Mine looked like I was growing mountains on my face and they would last for weeks.
I can tell you something that you probably wouldn't like to hear - I know if I heard it when I was 17 I wouldn't have cared: the older you get, the more you learn to appreciate yourself and give less of a damn about what other people think.
Hey lightthecandle, I'm going to ask you a tough question - how else are you taking care of the rest of your appearance (since it seems to be a big deal to you)?