[The Cloud]

You'll never find the answer to your questions by reading a book. The book might help you focus toward what it is that you want to find, but in the end you are the one that has to use your mental horsepower to do the hard thinking. My suggestion, since you seem pretty inexperienced in understanding yourself, is to start a journal. Write whatever you feel like writing, until you get to a topic that your mind resists thinking about. It is imperative that you do write about that topic, that you do write what you truly believe about it. Don't judge your thoughts or what you write, whatever it is it's real and it does you no good to deny the reality of it. Especially don't tell yourself what you're "supposed" to think, the bane of self-discovery is telling yourself that you don't feel something that you do feel. If you find you're having trouble exactly writing what it is that your mind is so resistant to thinking about, ask yourself a lot of "why" questions, like why you're having a problem thinking about it or why it's so important to you. In my opinion, these are really the basics of learning about yourself, and consequentially the world and the people around you. Just try not to make it a chore, because it's very easy to turn self-improvement into a job of work rather the wondrous thing it is, which basically defeats the whole purpose.