Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - Abortion anniversary: 'How would you approach it?'

Angela · 10-27-2007, 08:44 PM

I agree with cdn that it's up to her, not you, to bring it up if she wants to talk about it.

I don't agree, though, that too much time has passed for her to be encouraged to share her feelings about the whole thing, if she herself has expressed a desire to talk about it. If she does bring it up, I think, since she's someone you hold very dear, that you might be just the person to ask, "Do you want to talk more about this? I'm here if you do." Eighteen years is nuthin', when it comes to something like that. Every woman I've ever spoken with who has had an abortion thinks about that crossroad once in awhile, and regardless of whether she feels it was the right thing to do or whether she regrets it, it's good to feel the freedom to talk about her feelings, which can be pretty profound. Especially around a milestone like 18 years, and especially in a case like this, in which she was violated.

Tuumble, you are a particularly sensitive and open man, and I know if this discussion does take place, you will surrender any judgement or attempt to "fix" her feelings; you'll just let her talk until she's done and be committed to hearing everything she has to say.

She's lucky to have a friend like you, no matter what subjects come up for discussion (or don't).

10-27-2007, 08:44 PM	#3 (permalink)
Angela Legendary Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 11,404	I agree with cdn that it's up to her, not you, to bring it up if she wants to talk about it. I don't agree, though, that too much time has passed for her to be encouraged to share her feelings about the whole thing, if she herself has expressed a desire to talk about it. If she does bring it up, I think, since she's someone you hold very dear, that you might be just the person to ask, "Do you want to talk more about this? I'm here if you do." Eighteen years is nuthin', when it comes to something like that. Every woman I've ever spoken with who has had an abortion thinks about that crossroad once in awhile, and regardless of whether she feels it was the right thing to do or whether she regrets it, it's good to feel the freedom to talk about her feelings, which can be pretty profound. Especially around a milestone like 18 years, and especially in a case like this, in which she was violated. Tuumble, you are a particularly sensitive and open man, and I know if this discussion does take place, you will surrender any judgement or attempt to "fix" her feelings; you'll just let her talk until she's done and be committed to hearing everything she has to say. She's lucky to have a friend like you, no matter what subjects come up for discussion (or don't).