Hi Iarlaitha,
I absolutely agree with jenny that it sounds like you have awareness, which is probably the most important step in terms of eliciting change. Often I think that the steps to change come directly from that awareness, because you just can't do the same ol' thing any more without having it register, internally - which makes you start looking for alternatives.
As for practical suggestions, here are a few (other than being here, in a supportive community - which you have already done for yourself!):
- Absolutely some "exercise". Getting your blood pumping will also release endorphins, which is nature's way of keeping you out of depression's grip. The exercise could just be a brisk walk - since you're already conscious of your mindfulness, the walk would also be a good time to check in with nature/the world around you - just taking it all in as you increase your heartrate.
- Gratitude en route. While you're walking, there are a couple exercises you could try when you feel like taking a break from mindfulness. (
). One is to just keep listing things (aloud) that you're grateful for, in your life, or in the world around you. Another is to give voice to all of your wants/desires for yourself. In either case, I think it's helpful, like Steve's exercise on finding your higher purpose, to go past the point where you run out of things to say - something "else" takes over when your ego runs out of words. - Start Small. Don't try to make too many changes all at once. Make a change, get used to it, make another change. Eventually you'll feel like taking on more - when you're craving MORE, then do more.
- Random thought - see if there are any floatation centers nearby. I've found that floatation is a great way to experience a shift in consciousness, and it's had a documented effect on depression - and it allows you a space to focus on your creativity. Check out Floatation.com - Home for a start on finding something local to you. I know it's random, but it's worth it. I have a tank, and just about everyone who's used it has had a very positive experience.
- Forgiveness. In terms of "letting go of the past" - as Jenny mentioned - I personally think that Forgiveness is the biggest step. Express your anger first, if you have to - forgiveness allows you to release that anger, accept what's happened (even if it freakin' sucks!), and move on. It's a step that really honors yourself in a powerful way.
I hope that this list of suggestions is helpful for you, Iarlaitha. You're taking the right steps, it sounds like - and your participation here (and in communities in person where you are) will definitely support you in your action.
Take care, and feel free to contact me directly if you'd like.
Neil
Neil Sattin.com - Getting to the Heart of Personal Development Welcome to the Natural Dog Training Blog - Natural Dog Training Blog