Hmm... I was curious about the self-esteem aspect, but then I started thinking about it. One of things I was refusing to let go was some comments my boss had made about me not "wanting my job enough" etc. or not "trying enough" or lacking this, etc. He gave me points on which to address. I was really angry about that, and every future comment he gave was viewed in the limelight of what he told me before. Now I realized that if I was really self-assured, then what he said the first time wouldn't have bugged me so much. I would have been able to take criticism. And then I would feel good about making progress and so I wouldn't continue to see his comments in limelight of the past and cause myself continual frustration. So yes, I can see the self-esteem plays a part in this. It would have never have occured to me before; I was so focused on him being wrong. Now I know that there's something else I can do: work on my self-esteem. Thanks to all who suggested it! And I actually did write down that I was proud of my self and all the things I had done... and I see that RT wolf advocates that also. I also see that thinking about why I love the things I do gives me greater self-esteem too. I haven't read that link to Steve's article yet, but I'll do that soon.
Thanks everyone. Cheers.  |