Hey Trixxy,
It sounds like to first step for you has to be self-forgiveness. You cannot change the past and being upset about it limits where you can go for your future. The past has caused you enough pain and enough time being sad -- it's time to let it go. Be thankful for the lessons learned and that you have a 2 year old son. I have been an at-home mom for the last 8 years and believe me I often felt "WHO AM I?" I was also very ill and felt guilty and upset a lot of the time and was very caught up in my past. When I started learning about the mind/body connection and the law of attraction I set out to heal myself and now I am healthy and very motivated to make something of my life!
Being a mom is a HUGE accomplishment. It takes time, effort, patience, energy, lots of love, humor and most of your free hours. Remember YOU are the person your son will see as an example. I felt like my son (8) was a worry wart and very upset a lot because of who I WAS. Now after I have had almost a year living life pain and pain med free I have been teaching him what I have learned and he is a much more self confident person. I highly recommend the book "Incredible You" from Wayne Dyer as a way to teach kids they can do anything and how not to let the bad things get to them.
I can't believe you have no talents -- everyone has talents -- maybe you just haven't found your passion yet. Not everyone could entertain a 2 year old all day -- do you get joy from that? Would you get joy from helping other kids?
Taking time for yourself is key. Meditation or a walk around the block. Being a mom is beyond full time and you need time to just figure out who you are. I maintain a blog on healing pain naturally (emotional and physical) and would love for you to check it out. There are also TONS of resources on this site -- podcasts and articles from Steve.
If you email me I would gladly share my ebook with you and the methods I used to heal. The most important thing is to look forward and not live in your past. Start living for NOW and the wonderful things in your future. You can do it and you will be proud of yourself and your son will be proud of you as well. You're so young -- feel lucky you have started now trying to figure out what you want -- it will give you plenty of time to ensure you do it!
Hope this helps. Jenny (jennymannion@yahoo.com)
Heal Pain Naturally