Hi iarlaitha,
You are on the right path with knowing WHAT you want to change and by having ambitions.
Change is an adjustment but it doesn't have to be "hard". I think implementing some new positive habits and sticking to them would go a long way for you. Also, you do have to "let go" of the past and realize it is what you do now that is important.
When I found the law of attraction and personal development tools I was very ill physically and in chronic pain. I now maintain a blog on healing naturally and tools that can help you in that regard. Forgiveness of myself for the past was a biggie for me and it helped me to move forward. I had already lost time being ill and being upset with myself for that time ill wasn't going to help move me forward. I welcome private emails and would tell you a bit more in detail about the steps that helped me get out of chronic pain and into the best emotional and physical shape of my life.
I wish you all the best.
Jenny
jennymannion@yahoo.com Heal Pain Naturally