You have your son. Raising him and giving him every chance you can is one hell of a purpose. I think the seasonal crap, as well as being a caretaker, can wear on a person. There's so much joy to be had in life! I am sure there's so much you haven't experienced and so many people you haven't met, and it all starts with walking out your front door. I am sure you'll get some great advice, and you'll be amazed at the folks who come into your life if you just change your attitude. People are here to help, girl.