@cdn2:
Thanks for the kudos on the fortitude. It does get difficult at times.
And I do believe sex is good (not the root of evil), that it is a huge part of making a relationship work, and that a good sexual relationship (and even the non-sexual part) requires absolutely clear, smooth and open communication.
I abstained because of two reasons: spiritual - and because I wanted to have sex with someone I love, and the majority of my life so far involved a love that was mostly unrequited. Though I am seriously looking out for a fresh start and a new long term relationship, I am looking at whether the abstinence will damage my prospects at a successful one. That being said, my alternatives at this point untill the relationships will be casual hook-ups, which is a choice I won't easily make.
@maeve
I didn't get the joke about the kitten having claws? sorry
(and I didn't understand the part about motivation for intentionally abstaining either - For the record, I did intentionally abstain, whether that was a stupid thing to do or not)
What I meant was I couldn't find information on sexual incompatibility, other than just tips on how to overcome it. Not much statistics, and no psycological or physiological studies results.
And with regards to the wedding night and starting the sex, I don't mind being super honest it's actually how I prefer to be, I'm more worried about getting her to be super honest, but I hope to sort the honesty / communication part before marraige itself.
{And after holding out for so long, I don't mind taking it slow in the beginning untill she is comfy enough to ask for more
I do want to make it MUCH better and I want to see what I can do to get there
}