joyjoy, I'm sorry that you are feeling the pain of thwarted love. I know how much it hurts. What you are missing is that we are not telling you things are hopeless. On the contrary, we're telling you that you have all the power in the world to build a life you love! It may sound harsh to you because we're also telling you that it's irresponsible to pin all your hopes for happiness, satisfaction and fulfillment on one guy, and a guy who has told you your relationship is over, to boot!
Of course you are free to continue hoping and pining for this fellow. But what you're doing is marrying an outcome -- you are having thoughts that there is only one way in the world that will satisfy you: you and he must get back together. These are thoughts that are stingy, both with him and with yourself, and you're not likely to hear on a personal development board encouragement to be stingy!
You may very well get back together with him. And if you do, while still in this state of pinning all your hopes on him, he'll leave you again because he'll feel stifled by your neediness and your lack of responsibility for your own satisfaction and fulfillment. It will hurt more next time, because you will continue to bring your old pain with you, over and over again. You will continue to weigh him (or the next guy) down with all your needs. That is too much to ask of anyone!
I encourage you to take 100% responsibility for your own happiness, satisfaction and fulfillment, and trust that he will do the same in his own life. That way, if you ever do encounter him again, you'll be coming together as partners who realize that each must provide for her own needs, and give the other the freedom to do the same.
Trust and freedom are missing from everything you've described so far, and as far as I'm concerned, without trust and freedom, there is no love at all.
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