Alfonso,
Your post touched so many raw nerves, and I got more and more riled up as I read along. So, does that give me a reason to hurt you? After all, according to you, we can all arbitrarily define some line that others cannot cross, and if they do, hurt them in some way so they get the message (then tell them it was for their own good).
I went through a few years of corporeal punishment in primary school. I was caned for things like spelling mistakes. I resented my teachers INCREDBILY DEEPLY for a very long time. I thought it was a violation my person. But, oh, hey, it's so important to spell correctly and not run around in the corridor! so important and conducive to my well-being, that I ought to be hurt for it!
what about you just explain your motivation and your expectations to people first, so they understand where you're coming from? what about learning to inspire?
my father is a true lightworker. He's a very successful businessman, very busy, capable, intelligent. From a very poor background too. He does not use anger to get what he wants. He inspires people, he sets examples, to the point that people tell my mum and myself that they wish my dad was their partner/parent. He worries what would happen to the company if he retires, so he's trying his best to ensure his employees' future before he leaves. And when people don't fulfill his expections, he understands their limitations, says: "I was once at that level too". RESULT: people bend over backwards to make him happy, because he doesn't force people to make him happy AND people feel safe and respected around him.
My brother is working for an angry, abusive boss. The boss is a brilliant men, but his anger has caused a superfast turnover at his company. There's no loyalty, and he spends his time interviewing new employees. He of course, blames everybody but himself. According to him, he's really reasonable. HAHA
I was an angry person (still am, in part, of course). I think people who use anger do it not just because they like it and it gets things done. They HAVE TO because they don't know how else to get what they want. They don't know how to inspire others, to connect with others and so to receive what is WILLINGLY GIVEN.
I'm going to take your cake example literally, because last week I received so many cakes I didn't know what to do with them. Did you consider that before forcing a 'gift' onto someone? This example shows you don't just 'protect your line'. You actively infringe other people's. If I was my old angry self, irresponsible of my speech and actions, and you actually raised your voice with me, I'd chuck it in your face and tell you to disappear from my life because I don't need ABUSIVE CONTROL FREAKS around me. Now I just find people like you kinda amusing, then I'll give that cake to someone else.
btw, since I'm still venting...my friend, who sounds like you, says he is 'training' his gf in household chores. There is only one standard - his high, exactly standard, and if it isn't met he glares and yells, because she needs to be 'trained' to do things properly. So what if he tells his gf he loves her? It's all in his head. The reality is he places getting his way over his gf's feelings. How do I know, because she's confused and hurt and everyone wants her to leave him. I don't hear one person say - "hey, you crossed his arbitrary line, so you get treated worse than a dog, u deserve it".
So you don't care if you hurt people? especially if they are not useful to you? Then to me, you're not a lightworker. To me a lightworker sees connections between all beings, understands people improve with time, and will HELP and not hinder their development.
Your basis for anger is just your arbitrary judgment, based on personal likes and dislikes. Haven't you had people imposing their values and anger on you for reasons you find ridiculous? For all you know, they find their anger useful and reasonable.
I'm also from a country oppressed by threats of violence. So I don't buy the whole - "you don't know what's good for you, we the one party state/military junta will look after you, and let you keep 50% humanity as a bonus".
let other people be and don't give yourself excuses for hurting them. Read Angela's posts and learn to be responsible. At the very least, I hope you reexamine the merits of your principles, and ask yourself, is it absolutely true that your principles are the only good ones and that everybody must go your way?  |