joyjoy,
I agree with uberinquisitive. There is nothing to go back to. You have to move on and find new love. Please follow her advice and keep up with the therapy and introspection. Borderline, if you indeed have it (and I'm inclined to say you do) is a difficult affliction, but it can be overcome. In fact, I know someone who has it and she is now a stable family provider and proud mother to two little boys.
Unfortunately, I have also experienced up close and personal how it is to be with someone who has a severe case of borderline, exeggerated by not sticking to either therapy or subscribed medication. Please, please, don't become that kind of person.
All the best to you - may you find peace and love!
Jim.
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