I think you know the answer to your question even though you don't like it. You have to give him up. Sorry, but there it is. He says he can't be pushed into loving you. Fighting for him isn't going to work. You have been trying that and it isn't working.
I really feel for you. I've been there and it hurts it really does. If you want him to have any respect for you, or have any peace of mind, then you must stop contacting him.
The question is how:
Delete his phone number from your phone.
Delete his email and msn contact details.
You will need to get your friends to support you. Is there a friend you can ring at any time when you feel the urge to contact him.
Keep writing your feelings down. Handwrite, rather than type and keep writing and writing until you have got it all out of your system. Then throw it away (don't send it to him!)
I would also suggest that you look at speaking with a couseller or coach to work though your feelings. I found EFT invaluable in getting over my ex. I will send you a document on how to do it if you like.
You realise that you have learned a lot recently. That is good. Focus on what you have learned and how you will apply it to your life.
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