Hi John,
Your post is a remarkably resilient one. You obviously have been doing a lot of resorting about this. Unlike Jennihul I agree with your self-assessment.
However as **** as it all seems, it also seems like the darkest days may still be ahead.
You don't have the finances sorted out, and this may mean bankruptcy so certainly get someone else in your corner who you can trust and do it real quick for your own peace of mind.
In keeping it brief for us you don't explain where the kids are at, where the relationship/marriage is at, and where your wife's addiction is at. I don't assume any of them, except perhaps the kids, are good. I'm sure you had different plans for how you wanted to be with your kids during these years with them, so they may be accepting of it, but you probably won't have been.
You'll be back to priorities. Probably kids and you first (they will recall those precious moments together years later - even if it involves fast-food :-), finances and house second (practicalities need a realistic plan including worst-case scenarios not just wishful thinking), and wife after that (she has to help herself, and you need to make sure you are not allowing her to shirk her responsibilities eg in being honest with herself and others AA style.)
Welcome to StevePavlina.com John!
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