[Cron]

If a person is in a dead end job situation, bad shape, has a messy home, messy car or other similar negative superficial factors a number of people will decided not to get romantically involved with that person.

I used to think that was completely shallow.

I think I understand now.

I have a friend who is in her second live-in relationship with a seriously lazy, do-nothing, sloppy, boyfriend. I'm a bit towards the sloppy side of housekeeping, but when I stayed with them recently their apartment was so messy it actually stressed me out.

My friend has missed or been very late to events she was looking forward to because at the last minute her boyfriend couldn't be bothered to get up on time, move quickly enough, or he simply decided not to go out of laziness.

My friend has similar issues with her last live in boyfriend.

I can see now why someone might enjoy a person's company, but decide to not date that person if they see they have a sloppy car, apartment, going nowhere life.

Such things can ( doesn't have to be ) be a sign that the person doesn't care about him/herself and may not care about you once the excitement of a new relationship wears off. Getting involved with such a person would involve risking being with someone who will not respect your boundaries, who will stress you out with their habits, who will not take care of things.....his....or yours, and who will be no fun since s/he will not be doing anything with their life.

This isn't true with everyone who has one or more of these negative superficial attributes, but there are plenty of fish in the sea, so if you have some of these signs why should a person risk all of that frustration rather than just trying someone else?

My friends second and repeated experience with slacker boyfriends has really changed the way I think about having the newest car, the most fashionable clothes and other superficial things. I really don't care about those things for myself, but to other people they represent what they can expect out of me in a relationship.....potentially.