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Originally Posted by gita   ...I know what you are saying. The same logic applies to me. I too have strengths and I too am good enough in many ways. But I don't remember to remember this, I guess ...How do I tackle such situations? I know that I have my strengths and I am good enough. But I don't think I know it enough to prevent these incidents. |
Hi, Gita. It's amazing how that little decision, "I'm not good enough", pervades your life, isn't it? Even in your strongest moments: "I too have strengths and I too am good enough
in many ways." (but not in all ways, I guess, huh?) That decision you made about yourself is much stronger than your adult attempts to tell yourself otherwise! So you end up going to extreme lengths to avoid being not good enough (like the getting defensive and angry with your husband) and trying hard, like a good little girl, to be good enough. But whatever you do, it's never enough, right?
That's because the whole idea of being "good enough" or not is an illusion! There is no such thing as varying degrees of being good. You are perfect, whole, and complete. Just like me, and just like everybody else. We are all perfect, whole, and complete.
I would like to invite you to invent something that works better than judging yourself (or anybody else, cuz I'm guessing you suss up others and whether they're good enough, too). To paraphrase Byron Katie, Can you know absolutely what is good enough? If you were to abandon judging yourself, who would you be? Who would you be, Gita, if you completely let go of the concept of "not good enough" (or even "good enough" for that matter)? What would your life be like? What would you be creating in your relationships?
These are sincere questions, Gita, not rhetorical. You don't have to answer publically if you don't want to -- but look for yourself, at least, ok?
If you would like to talk it out, just pm me -- sometimes saying or writing what you're working out loud can be very enlightening.
As the great spiritual masters say, "good enough, schmood enough."