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Originally Posted by gita  I have concluded that somehow my sense of self-worth is not derived from me but from what people around me percieve me as a person. |
Well, that's kind of an illusion, Gita. Welcome to the boards, by the way!
Your self-worth actually is derived from within, but I think you are suffering about some old incompleteness about yourself and attempting to compensate for it by pushing off the duty of appreciation onto your husband and others. But I don't think they'll ever be able to appreciate you enough to fill the hole, because you won't really 'get' the validation until you can give it to, and accept it from,
yourself. And then you won't
require it from others; that will just be icing on the cake.
Gita, how long have you felt the need for outside validation and appreciation? Can you remember the earliest instance of feeling that way? What happened, and what did you decide about yourself?