[gita]

Hi,

I have been married 2 years now. My self-esteem has been rather low for the past couple of years and it is manifesting in ways that make my marriage unhappy every now and then. I have a very good person as my husband, and we talk a lot. He is constantly trying to do the right thing for everyone and is a very positive person. But he is a man of actions and not words. So he hardly verbally encourages me, though he appreciates me and my actions.

Me on the other hand, feel the need for appreciation from him verbally. I would like him to acknowledge the good things I do with a "Great Job" every time. On the other hand, if I dont get appreciation, I seem to sub consciously record it. And I react badly to criticism later on with all the built up frustrations for the times when I was not appreciated. I feel very sad and emotionally torn and defensive at these times.

I realise this is what I do with many people who are close to me. I am finding it difficult to accept their criticism and still move on.

I have concluded that somehow my sense of self-worth is not derived from me but from what people around me percieve me as a person. But I am just not able to get started on resolving this. I deduce this every now and then but I dont have practical ways of fixing this feeling. How I remember to feel proud of myself and give credit to myself enough so that I dont expect this from people around me? Can you help?

Gita