[Lola]

Dear Leelene -

First, everything, and I do mean everything looks worse when we don't feel good. So keep taking care of your physical needs until you're feeling better. You probably do need extra sleep right now. That doesn't make a failure of your previously established pattern.

And speaking of failure - having some challenges along the way, slipping a bit from time to time, not maintaining your convictions 100% of the time DOES NOT make you a failure. It makes you a human who's learning a new way of life, who's improving her life, who's making it what she wants. It's hard work making changes like that. But you strike me as a level-headed, insightful, courageous young woman and I have no doubt you can do it.

As far as your boyfriend is concerned, it's a fact that when we start altering ourselves, often the people closest to us are the ones most resistant to those changes. They really like for us to stay exactly how we were - how they know us to be defined. For the most part I think Dr. Phil is full of shock-value cr*p but you did hear one good message. For you to achieve the fulfillment in life you're seeking and to have a mutually loving, respecting and fulfilling relationship starts with you knowing and BEING your authentic self. If BF doesn't like the authentic you or battles to alter the authentic you, then you'll know he's not likely to fit in the role of the relationship you seek.

Be good to yourself. Be true to yourself. All the rest will fall into place.