Thank you ladybear09 and justkira for your response. I really feel appreciative that someone responded.
ladybear09 your advice really does help...i have been on steve's site for a while, ever since i discovered it. I actually want to spend more time on it, but have crazy amount of responsibiilites that dont really satisfy me right now. I am working on monitoring my thoughts and changing negative ones to positive ones. I have caught myself "wishing" almost like i just want it to happen without any work. I tend to take the easy path, and if its not easy i will give up. I know things dont work that way and accomplishing something hard is probably more rewarding than accomplishing something that is easy, but the mental power required seems to overwhelm me. A lot like i have no idea what i am doing, and if i am even doing it right. On a postive note, any time i am on steves site i get a little dose of motivation and focus...so i know im doing the right thing being here.
justkira... than u for your response tooo...honestly i know all the "negatives" in my life pretty well. But i do not know the other 50% of my life (the good). It feels like to me currently that 75% of it is bad, and 25% of it is good. For whatever reason i tend to process the negative events pretty easily and well, but cant seem to even remember positive ones. I have lost my strengths in the pool of negative beliefs. I no longer have any idea if i even know my strengths and things i am good at. I do not know what things interest me and where i belong. I am a lost soul looking for a way out.
I know i need to spend a lot of time on this website. My main obstycle is the motivation and desire to live life. I tend to just want to give up.
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