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Parthon · 10-10-2007, 03:20 AM

It sounds like you've just woken up into awareness and gotten a whole dose of reality.

Unfortunately there's a shame/guilt spiral going on that's keeping you stuck. You feel shameful about the situation of your life and guilty because you think it's your fault, and these two keep you from going forward in life. You so badly want to change the situation to stop feeling guilty and shameful, but you can't change the situation, so you imagine going back and changing the past, even though you know you can't do it. While you can imagine the future improving, you are held back by the longing to change the past, which makes you stuck. All there is that you can see is a gap between where you are now and where you want to be or think you should be.

I've been there, and I think 99% of people have. The situation is different for everyone but the feeling is the same. Almost everyone has been there at least once.

The trick that noone ever tells you is that you can't change the situation. Right now is right now, and your past is your past, and your future is your future and you can't change any of it, ever. Not even a bit, not even one tiny little bit. It's set in stone the way it is right now. Nothing you can do, have done, or will ever do will ever change anything ever. It is just the way it is!

Think about that for 2 minutes.

It's not exactly true, but it's a really good viewpoint to look from to start off with. It leads to the path of acceptance, which gives you back power oddly enough. When you truely believe that you can't change anything, then you stop trying to change what you can't change, because nothing can be changed. You just accept things just the way they are. You'll feel crappy about the situation. You'll hate it and loathe it through and through. That's okay, because you can't change that either. Then you'll feel hopeless and you'll want to kill yourself, which is okay because you can't change that either, and so on. Don't act on any of it, just let it be, see that it can't be changed and after a time you will accept it. There will eventually be a sense of peace, once everything is accepted, all of your problems, all of your downfalls, all of your mistakes, and even the gap between where you wanted to be and where you are.

It's from there you can start to improve and gain some power. Instead of trying to change your past, you will see things you can do right now that will improve your future. You'll stop living in your past/future and start living in the present, which is where the magic happens. Whatever situation you are in is yours alone unfortunately, and it's fixed for now, but then you go from there and everything improves.

Lastly, other people can help, even more than you think. Most people just want to help other people, and it would be a gift to them if you let them help you.

Quite a heavy post, but I really heard that acceptance was missing from your situation right now.

10-10-2007, 03:20 AM	#24 (permalink)
Parthon Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Perth, Australia Posts: 1,532	It sounds like you've just woken up into awareness and gotten a whole dose of reality. Unfortunately there's a shame/guilt spiral going on that's keeping you stuck. You feel shameful about the situation of your life and guilty because you think it's your fault, and these two keep you from going forward in life. You so badly want to change the situation to stop feeling guilty and shameful, but you can't change the situation, so you imagine going back and changing the past, even though you know you can't do it. While you can imagine the future improving, you are held back by the longing to change the past, which makes you stuck. All there is that you can see is a gap between where you are now and where you want to be or think you should be. I've been there, and I think 99% of people have. The situation is different for everyone but the feeling is the same. Almost everyone has been there at least once. The trick that noone ever tells you is that you can't change the situation. Right now is right now, and your past is your past, and your future is your future and you can't change any of it, ever. Not even a bit, not even one tiny little bit. It's set in stone the way it is right now. Nothing you can do, have done, or will ever do will ever change anything ever. It is just the way it is! Think about that for 2 minutes. It's not exactly true, but it's a really good viewpoint to look from to start off with. It leads to the path of acceptance, which gives you back power oddly enough. When you truely believe that you can't change anything, then you stop trying to change what you can't change, because nothing can be changed. You just accept things just the way they are. You'll feel crappy about the situation. You'll hate it and loathe it through and through. That's okay, because you can't change that either. Then you'll feel hopeless and you'll want to kill yourself, which is okay because you can't change that either, and so on. Don't act on any of it, just let it be, see that it can't be changed and after a time you will accept it. There will eventually be a sense of peace, once everything is accepted, all of your problems, all of your downfalls, all of your mistakes, and even the gap between where you wanted to be and where you are. It's from there you can start to improve and gain some power. Instead of trying to change your past, you will see things you can do right now that will improve your future. You'll stop living in your past/future and start living in the present, which is where the magic happens. Whatever situation you are in is yours alone unfortunately, and it's fixed for now, but then you go from there and everything improves. Lastly, other people can help, even more than you think. Most people just want to help other people, and it would be a gift to them if you let them help you. Quite a heavy post, but I really heard that acceptance was missing from your situation right now.