Hi,
Your whole thought line and judgment is based on the "void moment" being perfection. What if it isn't. What if the NDE'rs judgment of perfect was clouded. What if the light experience was not just a draw of desire and dualism, but a pull into a deeper state of oneness?
You used a lot of words to really tell us that you yourself are perhaps looking for nothingness, non-existence, a void to disappear into. You are using the handle "Suicidaldude." Is that how you feel? It is usually better to say what you mean.
This life on earth can be very painful. We can become dis-empowered victims of our experiences and responses. It can be black indeed, and nowhere near as comforting as the thought of a pleasant void. If you imagine your life is a coin, what would the flip-side look like? What does that tell you?
Cheers,
John
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