Found this today and thought it might generate a little interested discussion:
How to Figure Out your Girlfriend.
Written by a woman, it seems to confirm the stereotype that women talk in code and men just don't get it. From the article:
Quote:
Women are complex creatures, sometimes frustratingly so. There are times when we make the men in our lives want to throw up their hands in defeat and say, “I’ll just never understand what women want!”
Don’t give up hope. Sometimes the key to understanding your girl is to read between the lines of what she’s saying to discover what she really means.
It’s not entirely our fault that we have this round about way of communicating. Boys are taught from a young age that asking for what they want is the best way to get it, while girls are encouraged to use our “feminine wiles” to maneuver our way into what our heart desires.
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But, alas, the author makes a fundamental - though very common - misconception about the nature of communication.
A fundamental tenet of effective communication is that it is up to the sender to send their message in a language and form that the receiver understands.
It's kind of like going to a different country that doesn't speak your own language. If I were to travel to, say, Japan, and I don't know the language and can't make myself understood, whose problem is that? Is it the listener's responsibility to somehow interpret my grunts and gestures into something that makes sense? Or is it my responsibility to make myself understood?
For instance, if I go to a vegetable market in Tokyo and want to buy some apples, it's up to me - not people around me - to make myself understood so I can find the apple vendor. It's not up to the people around me to somehow interpret my intentions, it's up to me to be clear.
Same with communication between men and women. If I want to get something across to a woman, it's up to me to talk to her in a language she understands. And if a woman wants to get something across to me, it's her responsibility to make herself understood to me in a way that makes sense to me.