cdn2wheeler is so right -- if your gf is not 'getting it', it's up to you to give it to her so she does get it. Let her know:
1 - you know it's hard to understand such a difference -- I love your standing in a closet analogy! Ask her to respect your feelings even if she can't understand them.
2 - an estimate of how much time you need to yourself and how much together time is optimal for you. Ask for hers.
3 - the price you pay when you don't get your solitude. (sad, exhausted, not completely present when you DO get together, stressed, cranky) and the payoff you get when you do get your solitude (relaxed, sexy, loving, vital, connected). Ask her about the price she pays when she doesn't get the togetherness she wants and the payoff she gets when she does.
4 - how important her feelings are to you, and how commited you are that you're able to come to an arrangement that has you both happy and satisfied. Ask her how she feels about your feelings, and her commitment to the well-being of both of you.
5 - Listen generously to everything she says!
Danger Man and I have come to a pretty good arrangement, and we're both like you -- we love our alone time. We take it for granted that our weekend mornings and evenings will be spent together and that we'll be apart mid-day unless we have a date; deviations from that are generously begged off. Weekdays are by prior arrangement or mutual spontaneous agreement only; no taking for granted allowed. This works perfectly for us.
By the way, living together is not a requirement of being married. You can set up whatever arrangement suits you.
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