Suicide is NOT the answer. It is a long-term solution to a short-term problem.
My boyfriend killed himself about 7 months ago. The destruction he left behind is hard to describe, except that everyone who was ever associated with him suffered and still suffers deeply. While he gets the afterlife, we are stuck in a life filled with guilt: "why didn't we prevent his suicide?" "why didn't we try harder?" "it's my fault he killed himself..."
Once you kill yourself, your legacy is your death. Your legacy is the suffering you leave behind. You will be forever remembered as "the guy who killed himself." It takes 2 generations for the ramifications of suicide to lessen in a family. Also, by your killing yourself, others in your family and friends are 7x more likely to kill themselves (because of guilt and suffering that they didn't prevent your suicide).
I am part of a suicide grief discussion board, and someone wrote this:
"5 minutes before I met my wife, I didn't know how much my heart could be filled with love. 5 minutes after I found her hanging body, I didn't know how much my heart could break. And that's life...you don't know what's around the corner. But I'm alive, and I feel the wind in my hair. I'm able to try harder tomorrow, or break down and cry, or laugh...while she's in the cold ground, never able to say sorry, never able to change her mind and try again."
With suicide, there is so much suffering in those left behind...do you really think you will be reborn again, reloaded on a clean slate? Just on karma alone, you've made your next life all that more complicated. There are no shortcuts in the evolution of your soul, absolutely none. If you're meant to climb a mountain, it will follow you from life to life until you climb that damn mountain.
Everyone is entitled to free will, but suicide is not an easy solution. It is probably one of the worst ways to rectify a situation. I suggest you look into what other people have advised.
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