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madgeylou · 10-02-2007, 03:53 PM

what is "the past" anyway? do you have an objective recording of it? or are your memories colored by the way you feel now, or the way you think you felt then?

try actually reimagining your past. i'm not saying imagine you have different parents or are from somewhere different, but there has to be something happy in your past. focus on it, and let that happy feeling expand to contain more and more of your past.

i had a crazy childhood and for a long time it left me feeling like i was behind others in my emotional development. but then i stopped and took another look at it and i realized there was a lot of joy, too. maybe it wasn't joy like (i think) others had, but there was joy nonetheless.

and my crazy childhood made me who i am today. i try to look at even the "bad" stuff (like my mom dying when i was 5, never having a stable home for more than a few months at a time, often wondering what was going to be for dinner) as a gift, because it is. what makes not having a mom "bad" while having a mom is "good"? what makes moving every few months "bad"?

these experiences gave me many gifts -- independence, self-reliance, confidence in my own ability to take care of myself. and i'm sure your life has given you gifts, too. they might be like the bits of fermented crap that pigs like to dig out of shite, but hey, those little bits make the pig happy.

so i guess my advice is, root around your past and sniff out the bits that brought you joy. hold on to those bits. actively remember those bits and imagine them gaining importance in the life story you tell yourself.

one of the nice things about subjective reality is that you can change your story to EMPOWER you instead of making you crazy. there's no reason whatsoever to look at your life story in any way that takes away your own joy and power.

i mean, just think about what happens when a couple breaks up. one part of the couple has one story about the relationship, the other has another. who is right? my contention is they both are, but the person who looks at the relationship and breakup as a satisfying and educational episode that is now over will benefit more from having had the experience.

10-02-2007, 03:53 PM	#17 (permalink)
madgeylou Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: brooklyn, new york Posts: 189	what is "the past" anyway? do you have an objective recording of it? or are your memories colored by the way you feel now, or the way you think you felt then? try actually reimagining your past. i'm not saying imagine you have different parents or are from somewhere different, but there has to be something happy in your past. focus on it, and let that happy feeling expand to contain more and more of your past. i had a crazy childhood and for a long time it left me feeling like i was behind others in my emotional development. but then i stopped and took another look at it and i realized there was a lot of joy, too. maybe it wasn't joy like (i think) others had, but there was joy nonetheless. and my crazy childhood made me who i am today. i try to look at even the "bad" stuff (like my mom dying when i was 5, never having a stable home for more than a few months at a time, often wondering what was going to be for dinner) as a gift, because it is. what makes not having a mom "bad" while having a mom is "good"? what makes moving every few months "bad"? these experiences gave me many gifts -- independence, self-reliance, confidence in my own ability to take care of myself. and i'm sure your life has given you gifts, too. they might be like the bits of fermented crap that pigs like to dig out of shite, but hey, those little bits make the pig happy. so i guess my advice is, root around your past and sniff out the bits that brought you joy. hold on to those bits. actively remember those bits and imagine them gaining importance in the life story you tell yourself. one of the nice things about subjective reality is that you can change your story to EMPOWER you instead of making you crazy. there's no reason whatsoever to look at your life story in any way that takes away your own joy and power. i mean, just think about what happens when a couple breaks up. one part of the couple has one story about the relationship, the other has another. who is right? my contention is they both are, but the person who looks at the relationship and breakup as a satisfying and educational episode that is now over will benefit more from having had the experience. __________________ http://www.thesunnyway.com Personal development to change the world Last edited by madgeylou; 10-02-2007 at 03:56 PM.