well, i dont know exactly what my iq is, but they tell me im a genius.
it is both a blessing and a curse. everything is so easy that i dont try. physics, chemistry, and math are somehow preprogrammed into my head and as soon as i read it or am taught it, i just know it. i am usually the guy answering all the hard questions the fastest, and asking the "good" questions.
still, i dont really study, and its not good cuz in college i have found that i need to study some, and i have absolutely no study habits. i am here typing this when i should be studying biology, all because i just like to think and philosophize and interact with others on my level, or around my level, of intelligence.
i have always kind of disregarded authority when i felt that it was illogical. that is the only kind of trouble i really ever get in. i can be very disrespectful, rude, and sarcastic to teachers or people who insult my intelligence by telling me to believe, accept, shut up, and respect them for no reason. i am getting better at handling myself in these types of situations, but definitely am not all the way there yet.
i am pretty lonely. i dont understand most people. it is amazing to me when i meet people with actual intelligence and logical thinking. maybe i am the crazy one, but i really dont think so. actually, i know im not. to me i see the whole world as just completely f ing backwards, and it really disturbs me. i am mostly extremely happy, but i can get really dark and moody when everyting just overwhelms me, as it is doing right now.
i need a girl, and it is ridiculous how hard this is when i dont compromise my values. i used to be able to just say a bunch of bs and get any girl to do whatever with me, but now that i am just myself it is so incredibly lonely. maybe i dont need one, but it is overwhelmingly lonely. i feel like i am holding so much on my shoulders. i feel that just my intelligence and soul in general is just so hard for people to deal with, and as i live in a small town, it really gets me down.
now were i in a good mood i would probably write a completely different response, as when i am around like minded people i am the happiest guy in the world. but right now i am just not the happiest dude and i dont know what to do. it always passes, but i just dont know man. its not like i wana be an idiot liek everybody else, but i feel like i need some 40 year old woman if i am gonna have a relationship, which probably wont happen either.
girls can be quite depressing.
this is so off topic im sorry.
peace
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