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trthskr · 10-01-2007, 10:58 PM

Thanks for all the response guys! I found value in all of them. I just wanted to address each one individually and maybe ask a few questions to further clarify this matter.

"The 'mature' way to handle that would be to always reply when they text you. If you skip on that as a form of payback for their failure to respond to your earlier text, you are only reinforcing a circle of undesirable behavior. You don't want to do that. You want to break the circle...

Treat others how you want to be treated by them! That usually goes a long way to receiving exactly that kind of treatment in return.

Jim."

Jim, I can understand where you are coming from. It make sense. But, what does one do when you have been retunring their texts/phone calls for a while but whenever you call/text it's hit and miss if they return the call/text. I percieve that as the other party not valuing my relationship to them and so they feel it's not a big deal if they don't return the call/text. I mean there's gotta be a point where you just have to fight fire with fire and play their own game with them. Thoughts?

Maguru, that's an interesting breakdown of 4 types of relationships. I feel that I also make more of an emotional connection to people I would like to befriend and perhaps the other party is not on that same level which is what reults in the frustration. I know relationships are a give and take and there has to be a fair balance of that otherwise one party will feel like it's being taken advantage of. Maybe if one takes the perspective of being as the "independent" type then you won't have any expectations in a relationship but that can be hard. I mean if you keep giving and giving in a relationship, at some point you would expect something in return. I think I fall more in the "nurturing" category.

NotesMaeve, I really like your suggestion of giving unsolicited phonecalles/emails to friends every few weeks. It's a great way to stay in touch and is an excellent way to network. I would love to hear other people's comments/thoughts on what I have here. I am really trying to get a handle on my relationships with people. Maybe you guys can suggest some good books.

Thanks!

10-01-2007, 10:58 PM	#5 (permalink)
trthskr Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Chicago Posts: 44	Thanks for all the response guys! I found value in all of them. I just wanted to address each one individually and maybe ask a few questions to further clarify this matter. "The 'mature' way to handle that would be to always reply when they text you. If you skip on that as a form of payback for their failure to respond to your earlier text, you are only reinforcing a circle of undesirable behavior. You don't want to do that. You want to break the circle... Treat others how you want to be treated by them! That usually goes a long way to receiving exactly that kind of treatment in return. Jim." Jim, I can understand where you are coming from. It make sense. But, what does one do when you have been retunring their texts/phone calls for a while but whenever you call/text it's hit and miss if they return the call/text. I percieve that as the other party not valuing my relationship to them and so they feel it's not a big deal if they don't return the call/text. I mean there's gotta be a point where you just have to fight fire with fire and play their own game with them. Thoughts? Maguru, that's an interesting breakdown of 4 types of relationships. I feel that I also make more of an emotional connection to people I would like to befriend and perhaps the other party is not on that same level which is what reults in the frustration. I know relationships are a give and take and there has to be a fair balance of that otherwise one party will feel like it's being taken advantage of. Maybe if one takes the perspective of being as the "independent" type then you won't have any expectations in a relationship but that can be hard. I mean if you keep giving and giving in a relationship, at some point you would expect something in return. I think I fall more in the "nurturing" category. NotesMaeve, I really like your suggestion of giving unsolicited phonecalles/emails to friends every few weeks. It's a great way to stay in touch and is an excellent way to network. I would love to hear other people's comments/thoughts on what I have here. I am really trying to get a handle on my relationships with people. Maybe you guys can suggest some good books. Thanks!