[Natsu]

Originally Posted by 1dra

I have a more active libedo than my wife. It wasn't always this way, but after kids now it is. She's just not interested in it. I've tried to talk about it, tried to give her what she needs, tried to express mine. Nothing works. The bottom line is I love her. I won't go outside the marriage for this.

Well, I see a problem, not only with her body (if she doesn't enjoy it, it's logical that she wants less sex), but with her attitude. I understand that if she doesn't enjoy it or it's painful, she won't be as interested in it as she was before. But I also think she should have a more positive attitude. I have never considered that a woman should be forced to have sex... But I have always considered that you have to take the needs of your partner into account. Nine months is way too much without it. But the problem is not that she isn't available. The problem is what you say later:

Still, she want's nothing really to do with it. Won't talk about it.

That's a negative and selfish attitude. "Things change, deal with it" is not what I would consider the response from a loving partner... I understand that at a certain point, one of the two spouses is going to have more sex thand s/he'd want, and the other is going to have less than s/he'd want. But one has to compromise. When she refuses to talk about it, that's bad news.

Hormones change, true: but there are specialists that can help you with those problems. There are sexologists, gynecologists and a wide arrange of experts in the subject. If her body has been damaged by the childbirth, I can understand her position, what I can't understand is her refusal to even talk about it. Unless she has suffere a traumatic shock, she's just being selfish. "Priorities change" is not a good enough excuse. If you are going to throw your marriage on the dumpster just because you have kids, that's not going to be good, either for you or your kids.

Women change. Their bodies change. Horomones change. Priorities change. Focuses change. So deal with it.

You should calmly tell her that she's being pretty selfish. Maybe you can ask an specialist. Never needed them, but I'd gladly do so if it meant to have a good marital life.

Any advise? Thoughts?

Try to consult an specialist or something... Try to get out of the house routine... maybe she'd be more receptive in a beautiful hotel than at home... I don't know what to say, but there are many options. You can ask a sexologist: it seems lack of libido is an average female problem. I've never had this problem, but there are lots of people who work in trying to help others solve it. Maybe you need to ask a professional. But, nothing will help you if she simply refuses to talk about it.