If you're trying to get your needs/desires met through someone who declines to help you meet them, common sense dictates you'll have to look elsewhere.
Now if you're committed to being with a person who is also committed to not meeting your desires and at the same time you have a belief that getting your desires met with someone else is wrong, immoral, cheating, etc., then you're just punishing yourself for no good reason. While you may have been taught those rules by someone who seemed like they knew what they were talking about, if the rules aren't working, they're dumb rules.
No one is served by self-punishment. It just brings everyone down and sets a bad example for others. People will see your example and assume they should suffer to, and it's all pointless.
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