OK, so my 30-day trial for september has failed.
The main problem areas are #1 (celibacy) and #3 (work on my music, which I keep procrastinating on).
Since I have designed my trial as a "package deal", if I fail once on point #1 or #2 (vegetarianism) I have to start all over again with the whole trial. Vegetarianism is not really a problem, but celibacy is. I could have made separate independent sub-challenges instead, but I wanted to try to get all these areas to work synergistically for an extended period of time, i.e. 30 days. I've had 2 previous succesful 30-day trials where I gained control over my sleeping habits, physical exercise, meditation routine, and work (composition 4 h/day was one of the goals for my last successful challenge). But when I fail on the celibacy I often let myself slip on some or all of the other routines too for a couple of days, partly because I know I'll have to "reset the counter" for the next attempt anyway.
But I still want to try to get this to work without splitting it up into sub-trials. So I have to make sure that the weakest area (celibacy) doesn't fail. I'll do this by not allowing myself to slide down a slippery slope like I've done on my previous attempts. How? By stipulating in the trial rules that if I masturbate or have sex I fail the whole trial,
even if I don't "come". That way, I can't tell myself, "just a little more, you can stop anywhere along the way", until I reach the point of no return. No, I will then have to make a conscious decision to throw it all away when I'm still in a "sane" state of mind where I'm able to choose rationally (and then I will hopefully choose not to go ahead and f*** it all up).
Today it is sunday 30th. I will use this day for meditation, fasting, journaling, tidying up my physical and virtual workplace, and planning. Tomorrow is monday 1st, the start of a new week and a new month. I'll try to get a good start on the new and improved 30-day Trial III.
