Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - Should I move across the country for a relationship that might not work?

Brooks · 09-29-2007, 06:27 PM

I'm thinking of moving across the country to try to work things out with my ex. I broke up her about a month ago, just before she moved away, because at the time I was very unhappy with our relationship and I didn't think we would be able to sort things out long distance.

I felt very relieved when it was over. Our relationship had been extremely difficult for both of us. I have learned and grown so much from being with her, but many times I felt so exhausted and unhappy that I wondered if it was worth the pain it caused.

We were not together for very long. Only about 5 months, 2 of which I was away traveling. That is such a short time for so much drama!

I'm still really in love with her. I know, intellectually, why I broke up with her, but I don't emotionally feel those reasons anymore. I want to try again to work things out with her, and that would mean moving to a different city.

I know I might be making a foolish mistake. I have a lot going for me where I am now, including a new job that might lead to a jumpstart in my career, a nice new apartment in my favourite neighborhood, a new program at school for which I pay practically nothing (because I live in Quebec and school is cheap here.) But all of that seems really trivial, and I'm not really happy.

I still think about her every day, and I really love her. I want to try again. If things work out, it might be the best decision I've ever made. If things don't work out, I'm sure I will learn something valuable. And I've actually always been interested in going to the city where she now lives, even since long before I met her. And my brother lives there now too, which is a definite plus. I could use a big change like that, perhaps.

Thoughts?

09-29-2007, 06:27 PM	#1 (permalink)
Brooks Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Montreal Posts: 2	Should I move across the country for a relationship that might not work? I'm thinking of moving across the country to try to work things out with my ex. I broke up her about a month ago, just before she moved away, because at the time I was very unhappy with our relationship and I didn't think we would be able to sort things out long distance. I felt very relieved when it was over. Our relationship had been extremely difficult for both of us. I have learned and grown so much from being with her, but many times I felt so exhausted and unhappy that I wondered if it was worth the pain it caused. We were not together for very long. Only about 5 months, 2 of which I was away traveling. That is such a short time for so much drama! I'm still really in love with her. I know, intellectually, why I broke up with her, but I don't emotionally feel those reasons anymore. I want to try again to work things out with her, and that would mean moving to a different city. I know I might be making a foolish mistake. I have a lot going for me where I am now, including a new job that might lead to a jumpstart in my career, a nice new apartment in my favourite neighborhood, a new program at school for which I pay practically nothing (because I live in Quebec and school is cheap here.) But all of that seems really trivial, and I'm not really happy. I still think about her every day, and I really love her. I want to try again. If things work out, it might be the best decision I've ever made. If things don't work out, I'm sure I will learn something valuable. And I've actually always been interested in going to the city where she now lives, even since long before I met her. And my brother lives there now too, which is a definite plus. I could use a big change like that, perhaps. Thoughts?