Light, I think the main problem is that because of your unfortunate childhood experiences, you learnt to associate sex with bad feelings; this is why sexual attention makes you feel bad. You have been conditioned to react this way.
Now, being the expert on sex that I am
, (I'm a guy and as such this declaration of my virile manhood is compulsory), I can tell you that you need to realise that sex is really nothing at all; it's not good or bad. You are human, and all humans need some form of sexual release, whether it be masturbation or sex. The reason that women tend to place greater value on sex than men do is biological. Women can get pregnant, men can't. If a man gets a woman pregnant and then runs off, this would obviously detrimental to the woman's health and well-being. This is why women have evolved instincts to "screen" men, and those instincts will often punish women if they try to fight against them by administering huge doses of "feel bad" hormones.
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I'm a nice person, and people always tell me how innocent and sweet I look...so I don't know why they're looking at me like that..
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Yeah...to the eyes of most men, this would make you even more desirable...in a sexual way. No matter what popular media would have you believe, sweetly innocent beauty is what most guys find to be the most titillating. I won't explain all the reasons for this now, just trust me on this.
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I'd like to hear some imput from guys as well
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I am a guy, I am your age.
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I'd like to hear what they're really thinking when they stare at a girl..
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See, that's the thing. What women don't understand when it comes to men is that sex is very impersonal for us. When I look at a pretty girl, I don't think anything. It's just purely instinctual. If a guy stares at a hot girl, he is doing it in the same way that he'll jerk his hand away if he touches something really hot.
Or to put it another way, if a guy wants to sleep with you, all it means is that he thinks you're attractive enough to sleep with. That's it.
On top of that, remember that HE doesn’t really want to do anything, it’s just his instincts driving him to do it.
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I don't mind if guys admire my beauty/sweetness/innocence/ , I just don't want them staring me down like a dog
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If a man sees a beautiful woman, then on a purely instinctual level, his response will be to try to have sex with her.
To a man, there's not really much, if any, difference between admiring a woman's beauty and wanting to possess her beauty (i.e. sex)
Of course, we are humans. We have big brains. We don't purely follow instinct. So please don’t start freaking out or anything. My point is that with men, the difference between admiring a woman and wanting to have her is pure, how shall I put this, self-delusion. In other words, if the guy is very strongly socially conditioned to think of sex as wrong and women as innocent little balls of fluff, then when he feels the sexual attraction he’ll convince himself that what he feels is something noble and worthy and highly elevated (think courtly romance). If he’s not so strongly conditioned, then he’ll probably think something like: “HOT. drool…”
So, basically, the point of my rambling and incoherent quasi-biology lesson was: realize that when a guy checks you out, he does it because he can’t help himself. Realize that he has entirely different instincts to yours, which compel him to do entirely different things to you. And most importantly, realize that the only person you have control over is yourself, and as such you should really try to be more practical about the unwanted attention instead of taking it so seriously. If it really bothers you, confront the two guys about it. I guarantee that they’ll back off, if not get too ashamed to ever look you in the eye again. Or maybe start carrying around pepper spray, or something…
PS. I know that this post is not up to my usual high quality standard of writing, and that there are even many grammatically incorrect sentences in it, and I must apologize for this. It’s just all this talk about innocent pretty little girls meant that a large part of my blood supply was unfortunately diverted away from my brain and… errr never mind.
