Uuuuugh I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable now, as if every word of mine will be analyzed and counter-analyzed ten times now
ok, first of all I agree with Dharma that there is more than vegan/non-vegan here. I already was thinking of some SR-mirroring-interpretations, but I didn't talk about that here because I thought this would be totally off-topic. This thread basically was about having different values about veganism or not in a relationship so I just related my case.
However, I don't agree with your interpretation, Dharma. Or let's say I'm just baffled and don't know how this relates to my life.
You see the situation as "
I'm angry because I won't cook for me because I feel I'm not congruent with my belief in veganism", I don't agree. I won't cook meat because I AM congruent with my "belief" (I don't like the word belief applied to veganism, but ok) in veganism.
Ok, then you translate this to "
I'm angry [at myself] and I won't nourish myself because of my constant battle with right and wrong in my life." I don't agree either. First, I cannot see any "constant battle with right and wrong in my life". I'm very happy with my decisions. Second, that I won't cook any meat doesn't mean that I won't nourish myself [him] any more. If I cook some vegan stuff, I'll still nourish us.
The point here is more that he's angry because it's a clear loss of comfort for him. He wants his gf to cook, and he wants to eat meat as he's used to. Now he must either learn cooking, or eat some bread with ham instead of a nice warm meal, or leave his gf (which means looking for another appt and move..) That's all things that suck for him. So I would translate to "I'm angry at myself because I have to give up a lot of comfort because I live congruently with my values".
That I have to give up a lot of comfort to live congruently with my values might be true. I'm not aware of being angry about it, but maybe that's the mirroring?
Quote:
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You're telling yourself you want to give up your game of polarity. I think you want to keep cooking for your boyfriend, but the damn right/wrong puts you in the wrong for doing it. (and that manifests as anger cuz you're now stuck in a corner.) So you either heed your righteousness or out with the boyfriend?
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I don't agree at all! I don't feel stuck in a corner at all. Keeping cooking is not that important, and I don't think "I want to do it but it's wrong" at all. I think "Gee! I'm happy I don't do it anymore!" And I don't want to give up my "game of polarity" either, whatever you mean with game. It's not a game. Yes, there are a few things that I find wrong. Maybe consciousness doesn't know polarity, but we as human beings have some ethical values. If someone kills your neighbour to eat him, wouldn't you find that kind of "wrong" a little bit? I'm not someone going through life saying "this is right, this is wrong, this is right.." but on this one topic I don't see why I should stop finding it wrong for myself.
Btw, doing something wrong and being a bad person is not the same at all for me. You seemed to confuse both in your post, or maybe for you it's the same but for me it's not. If someone does something I find wrong, I don't think they're a bad person. I'm not "bad" for cooking meat. It's just wrong applied to me (notice, to me, not to others).
Now I don't know what I wanted to write anymore...
Oh yeah my mirroring interpretation... Well my bf condemns a lot of my recent decisions. As I met him, I was studying computer science. I broke up my studies for values reasons too, I wanted to do something meaningful with my heart to help others. He wasn't happy at all. Now he's not interested in what I do at all, as little as he's interested in my reasons for not cooking meat. I do a two-year schooling to become an animal healer, and additionally I dance a lot and learn about LoA and such things. He condemns this very much. He's angry too because instead of at least looking for some job I'm financially broke and volunteer at the animal shelter. And instead of sleeping with him at night I recently have such a chaotic biphasic sleep schedule. And instead of having proper meals with him I started grazing all day long. And.. and.. the list is long of things he doesn't like about my life. All this is not straight enough. I'm not the nice, reasonable part-time housewife he wants to have. And now, worst of all, I don't want to cook his holy meat any more! Well that's the limit!!!
So in my eyes my bf is the conservative, fearful part of myself that tells me "girl, study, look for a job, earn money, be normal! your values and passions are not as important as having a comfortable life, being financially safe, pleasing others and doing what you're expected to do."
That's how I see it...