I can relate to your dilemma. I have problems in my relationships and it's the same thing over and over. I realize I am the common denominator and see that I am on a different emotional level. I connect on an emotional level not a mind connection which means that I feel closer to them than they feel to me.
For several years I have been observing relationships and just come to realize most work in one of four ways. Independant, co-dependant, nurture or using.
I don't know if any one is the 'right' way. I just think if two different styles come together, they won't work. I have always been in the nurturing category but see that others have been in the user category. It's like mixing oil with water.
I have a great relationship now where we both are independant and stay together because we actually like each other, understand each other and support each other.
I think we have to decide what part we are playing in the relationship and work from there. It is much easier than trying to resolve issue after issue. Hope this makes sense. It is a new perspective for me.
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Originally Posted by trthskr  I was wondering what your guy's thoughts are on value and relationships...not just relationships with girls but with friends, family, etc. The reason this has come up with me is that 've noticed a pattern in my life. I will meet and make friends. We'll hang out on weekends etc, but then after a few weeks or whatever we no longer hang out. I'll call or send a text and sometimes get no response. As a result I feel a bit insulted so if and when they text me I don't respond either (which may be an immature way of handinling this but I'm not sure how else to handle it).
As a result, thru this cycle, I end up meeting people and making friends but then lose touch with them very quickly. This has been a pattern I've been stuck in for a long time which makes it difficult making friends, affects my social life and and as a result has here I am studying social dynamics, lol.
I mean I apparently make a good first impression and can meet people fairly easily but when we start hanging out something happens or I might be doing something subconsciously which lowers my value and don't hear from the person as much. I'm just trying figure out what the hell that is. I could just be over analyzing this too much and maybe it has nothing to do with me at all. maybe the other person just got caught up in their owh **** in life, who knows, but I can't help but feel that I'm not a factor as well since this has been such a consistent pattern.
It's really very discouraging b/c I'll meet someone that seems like would be a cool friend but then the reltionship dissolves for whatever reason. I feel like this is some essential skill that I need to figure out not only b/c it relates to social dynamics in being a leader of men but also in my relationships with women. Maybe it has something to do with one's internal state, charisma or energy that you give off. What do you guys think? |