I agree with both Erki and Aspiring.
Did you get together with your husband when he was on the rebound?
It sounds like he never came to terms with being dumped by his ex which is why he jumps whenever she calls. It also sounds like she is taking advantage of the situation.
If I were you I would definitely discuss this with him, however as Aspiring has noted this is not about you being a loser at all. If you have self-confidence problems this isn't the cause of them, it's just bringing them to the forefront. Take time to do some soul searching and realize that you are a worthy, lovable person with or without him. Start by loving yourself!
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