My first reaction is to agree wholeheartedly with Erki!
I am very sorry to hear about your situation. It does seem that your husband is a little preoccupied with his ex. It could be that he still has feelings for her, or that he simply didn't get the often mentioned closure to that relationship that would have made it easy to move on. Since I don't know complete circumstances or the parties involved, I definitely can't say for sure.
My advice would be to work on yourself and get to the root of this loser feeling. Nothing your husband does or doesn't do has any bearing on your status as loser or non-loser. His words and actions surely bite, but that is his own responsibility. Aside from having a frank conversation with him about how his actions make you feel, there is not much you can do to make him stop. I would suggest working on yourself to the point where you can be happy with or without any input from him and regardless of what he does. At that point, the point where you are not relying on his actions to decide how you feel, you will be better equiped to look at this situation and decide what you want to do.
Have you spoken to him about how this bothers you? If so, what was his reaction? If his reaction is one of ambivalence to your feelings with no desire to make an effort for the sake of your marriage, it would be my vote to separate. If he until now has not known how this is affecting you (and if you haven't explicitly said so that is probably the case), I would give him the opportunity to work out a plan with you that will make you both comfortable.
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