[Lola]

ltc - I agree that your discomfort with male attention likely stems from childhood molestation.

Typically, two things are common with women and men who were abused as children - One, they believe the abuse was their fault (IT WAS NOT!!!) and two, they believe they should have done something to stop it.

I encourage you to do two things: To deal with the fault guilt - seek professional counseling with a therapist specially trained in working with adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. To deal with the failure to take action guilt - take a self-defense class. Not that I'm advocating "kickin' a** and takin' names" every time a man looks at you, but knowing you have the ability to protect yourself should anyone ever cross the line of appropriate behavior is very empowering.

Men love to look at beautiful women. Some gaze in appreciation, some leer. Your ability to gracefully live with, and even appreciate such attention will be greatly enhanced by not fearing your own hotness - by being comfortable in your own beautiful skin.