Originally Posted by chris7246
Hi there M18pack,
To some extent I can identify with what you are going through. I am going to write about what I have gone through.
At the age of 6, I was rushed to the hospital where two days later I would under go a brain tumor operation. The operation left me with some loss of sight. In addition to this, I also have seizures. they are under control for the most part.
In school, I was not allowed to participate in gym. The principal or whoever was in charge thought my head might cave in if I was hit by a ball. It was a difficult time for me all through school, but, I graduated from high school with a Regents Diploma. I have never driven a car. I can't. The loss of sight and seizures have seen to it.
Seizures know no boundaries, can discriminate at will, and are not bound by any laws. Once someone sees you have a seizures, that is all that it takes to be alienated you from the them and others. I have no friends, and have never had a girl friend.
I have gone on for many years like this. There isn't very much I can do about it. I just move on and do what I have to do each day. I am not going to loose any sleep over what others think of me or their opinions.
The reason I bring up all of this information is that our lives are what we make of it them. We can live in the past or we can plan our future. Some people are better off than we are and others are less fortunate and are worse off than we are.
I never miss church. God has been at my side all of these years. I work with the poor through our food pantry at my church. You get to see what life is like for those that are less fortunate. It gave me an appreciation what is like to be poor.
I am not a Psychologist, but, what I have gone through thus far it takes most people a life time to experience. Get out and do something. Anything that will take your mind off some of the things that bother you. I hope that this may give you some insight and realize that things aren't alway as bad as they might seem.
Hey, I am also a brain tumor (cancer) survivor. I had some eye damage as well, but at the age of 21, I got my driver's license. It was not easy and it is still difficult to drive, but I proved I could do it. I finally came to realize that part of me was limiting myself. I thought I would never be able to drive, but you know, it turned out okay. My mind might not work perfect and I may not do everything right the first time, but I am happy. I was out of commission for over a year, unable to do anything except lay there. I had radiation treatments, three major surgeries (one that had 64 stitches in the back of my head). No matter how bad things get, you can always emerge on top in the end. Since then, I've really embraced my spiritual side and learned that in order to deal with things like this, like considering suicide, we need to take on a more spiritual perspective. I have many people to thank for this. Steve Pavlina started me on this track and he is still a big influence. Just allow yourself to be, accept yourself for who you are. If you want to improve, go ahead. If not, you don't have to. Just accept yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Move on from there.