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Originally Posted by rondon  I couldn't put it exactly what "feeling" I lost. I was initially attracted to her. We started talking and enjoying ourselves. It got to the point where we were so comfortable with each other. Me, I kinda felt exactly that - comfortable. I wasn't having those "butterfly stomach" anymore. So, when she asked me if I loved her, I thought about those feelings. I was definitely _not_ feeling head-over-heels over her anymore, but still wanted to be with her. |
I was going to say that if you once had the lust, you can generate it again, and if it was never there it probably never will be. I was going to say: comfortable is a great thing to be with someone, and that the butterflies come and go and are not necessary to a great relationship.
But reading through your posts, I don't get the sense that you have any strong feelings for her at all, except maybe hurt pride, unwillingness to cause her grief, and a vague sense that you might be letting something wonderful slip through your fingers - maybe.
You haven't said anything at all in these posts that indicates you think she's special to you, or that you're looking for anything special about her. Maybe you are doing that and you just didn't say anything about it in your posts -- but in my experience here, people tend to say (and not say) the important things about their issue in their first couple of posts, and your issue sounds like it's that you haven't given yourself a chance to really throw yourself into generating love and finding out what it is. You could give that a go with this girl, except that women often won't give you a second chance once they feel thrown over. This one might just be played out, romantic partnership wise. It's possible you'll see that you really did love this girl, but only in retrospect. That happens a lot!
I hope you are aware that you have the power to generate big, generous, sloppy, grateful love in your life whenever you want to. I hope you do that! And I hope that you accept the hurting that you're doing now and get through to the other side of it feeling powerful and creative about love.
best wishes to you.
p.s...I just read the other thread you started... sure enough, it does look like the relationship issue you have is with yourself, not with this or any other woman. It looks like you have some pretty major nurturing and love to do for yourself first. I don't think your girlfriend would be surprised to hear that -- I think she would probably love for you to make creating a life you love a priority.