[rondon]

Hi,

Thanks VERY much for all the input so far.

Right now... i'm aiming for the "let's be friends" state. From what I gather, she _seems_ ok with it (though I'm not 100% sure, I'm not _that_ intuitive yet). I don't want to kick her out of my life, she's a good friend. And I really care deeply for her. But, not as lovers, or... yeah, I need to further explore what love really means first before I can say "i Love you" to anyone.

I'm seeing her in a few days... she herself suggested that I go there "as friends", and that's what I'll be, for now...

@ Zukin,

Thanks! I'll check out his site / articles as soon as I can.

@ TheQ,

Wow - your situation almost matches mine. In my case, she's very intuitive herself, and kind of tested me every step of the way to see what I was really feeling. Me, I wanted to be honest, but also wanted to be "polite" (which I think complicated things). Last time I chatted with her, she too "fell out of love". That hurt! I mean, intellectually, I kinda saw where things were going, but, emotionally...

I was afraid of saying "its over", probably because 1) I don't want a "good catch" to slip me by and 2) a part of me didn't want her to break down and blame herself for the "failed" relation.

As for the soul-searching, that... I have a lot of those to do.

@ Angela,

I couldn't put it exactly what "feeling" I lost. I was initially attracted to her. We started talking and enjoying ourselves. It got to the point where we were so comfortable with each other. Me, I kinda felt exactly that - comfortable. I wasn't having those "butterfly stomach" anymore. So, when she asked me if I loved her, I thought about those feelings. I was definitely _not_ feeling head-over-heels over her anymore, but still wanted to be with her. And, I dunno if this is helpful, it also got to the point where I was "running out of stories to tell".

@ Steve,

Looking forward to that article. And thanks for your feedback. Seems going to the "lovers" stage in just a few months felt a bit off to me, and I now think I have a lot of self-work to do. Though I still cared for her.