Hi Brutha,
I do hear you. and I do believe in taking responsibility.
However, I just feel zvipat was still looking for acknowledgement...he stressed the same point (about his gf's constant irritability) for a couple of posts, and I wanted to acknowledge that so he can move on.
It seems that some people have grown from a lot of experience, from years of PD, from awareness training etc etc, and it just seems to me as if these people cannot remember what it was like to REALLY NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO...to really take the 1st step. At least that's what this thread made me feel...more judgemental and less encouraging than others.
I was once a miserable little ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ before I took responsibility for myself. I've treated some people badly for reasons unconnected to them. Because of my history, I tend to also think that the gf contributed to the problem. Sure Zvipat can do better at communicating, but he can't be the sole cause of her negative relationship with so many ppl (parents, ex's)? Surely she's responsible for that.
My point still is - Zvipat, it wasn't completely your fault, to feel anger, doubt, frustration etc. However, you did attract this gf into your life, there is a reason for that, and I hope you can explore and grow from it
