Quote:
she: salut
me: Hi there!!!!!!
it's been quite a while since I saw you here.....!!
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Starting a conversation with attacking the other person for not being online enough is not really smart. You project a victim mentality and label her the aggressor, which puts you into a low power position.
(note that the intention of your conversation is irrevelant, and that the text can be read that way) Quote:
she: a lot (she said more stuff after this bit, but I only got this)
me: right.....
are you busy?
she: now no
just tired
me: what did you do? (hence I asked again because I didn't know what she really did)
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She gave you an answer, you responded that her answer is inadequate.
As a pretense of the conversation you give her the obligation to tell her all about her day. When you are in a low power position you can't control a conversation like that.
Then she "punched back" a little with "oh god you make me crazy", rejecting the obligation to tell her everything about your day. That is the natural flow of the conversation.
Quote:
me: but it's annoying and it upsets me when you say things like "oh god you make me crazy"
you get irritated really easily by small stuff....I don't understand why, and this is not the first time either....
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Your projecting there I would guess.
In addition calling another person inconsiderate, because she doesn't let you dominate the conversation (and allow you to disrespect her answers), makes you seem like a control freak.
Quote:
she: you're not the reason for me being okay or not
me: but you seem to get hurt by what I said.....
she: maybe
me: oh come on sweetheart!! =) =)
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Another attempt from you to "control" the status of the relationship.
She says you aren't really important to her, but you can't accept that.
Quote:
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me: I don't want you to think that I deliberately hurt you.....far from it.........but I just thought that I had to make known what I felt, that's all. It was in no way intended to hurt you.....no way.....
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This lowers again your power over the relationship (in the conversation). In addition it increases the importance of the event, because you want to overcontrol the conversation (out of a low power position).
Quote:
me: sure
are we okay now?
she: no
me: what do I do so you forgive me?
she: Nothing
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You show that you don't understand her and think that adding additional pressure by requesting her forgiveness does anything to help you.
Conversations in general have a certain flow. You break the flow, and except her make a better conversation.
You express your concerns over her communication "but it's annoying and it upsets me when you say things like "oh god you make me crazy" and apologise later for it. That damages your own integrity.
Quote:
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You're kind of a drama queen. I'd be annoyed with you, too. If I just explain some additional text should have been there and a guy blathers on about how he "doesn't want to hurt me," I would be irked. It's SO not a big deal. It looks like you're looking to inject emotion where there is none.
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And don't understand the emotions that were there.