Yesterday was fairly good overall. The hike was really fun, and I showed Lauren my family's cabin, which she liked. I didn't get a kiss. I actually didn't try, but she seemed comfortable being close to me. But I love talking to her, and I didn't smoke for the whole 4-5 hours: I didn't even want to.
I applied to a few more jobs too. I got a call from my current employer "asking" me to give up a shift this week. I can't, and if I'm going to improve my performance before the follow-up review when they fire me. (they'll fire me no matter do) I have to go to work. So I told them I wouldn't give the shift up. I hope that wasn't too big a mistake. But really, I need to work more than 8 hours a week, even there. I hope the universe provides me an opportunity before they fire me. Getting fired from retail will be humiliating.
I'm still praying. Still for resentments and character flaws to be removed. Oh, and for things to work out well. The pain in my hip is almost gone, that was an early prayer as well. I'd also like to be better able to focus, so that should go in the next prayer. I guess I have at least a bit of the hope I pray for.
I went to the gym this morning. The gym really improves my mood. I'm applying to more jobs as well. I want to finish my school application and send it out tomorrow, but I'm waiting for the personal statement edit from an old professor. Then, all I have to do is wait and hope.
I'm trying to stay optimistic, and, as they say in NA "easy does it. But do it."
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