[rondon]

Everyone,

Thanks for all the advice and viewpoints you gave me.

It was unfair of me to pretend to love the girl. I loved her, really. But its time to own up to my decisions, even painful ones...

She said she wasn't pregnant. And even if she was I agree with you that I want to support the child, even if I know she won't allow me.

She was such a precious girl - I'm the one with the defect, I was the one who couldn't love her. If there's a fault in the relationship, its on my side, not hers. She gave the relationship everything...

I'm currently sorting through my emotions... do i really love her? But I didn't tell her that. I already asked too much when I asked for forgiveness...

I told her that she should move on. That she should forget about me. I already caused her enough pain as it is.

I broke up. Told her that I'm the one in doubt, the one who was uncertain. She cried over the phone. I'm such a jerk...

I don't know where else this will lead. I myself need to shape up, to make all those so-called improvements. Really take more responsibility for my life..

That's it for now. Thanks for the support.

Rondon