[Livgivare]

When I talk about that I try to change, people always come up with advice that are so important for me to listen to. They think that it is going to help me out in the best of ways. And they think that I really need to listen to them and thank them for their kind help. Somehow I feel so lost when they do this (mostly family and even maybe some of the friends I have).

My problem is that I find almost all of the advice working like a shirt. Either you get a shirt that is in size 50 or size 34, never the size you have which might be 42. When this is said I feel like some advice is so general that it do not help me, or too small that it miss the point or just fill in 20% of what I need.

You see I got a trouble with knowing abit of who I am, so now I try different stuff out each month to see what is me and not me, and what habits I try to get myself into.

Some of the people that gives me advice (mainly one of my nearest in my family) needs to get a huge thank you from me and that I need to show off in any way that I liked the way they tried to help me, and I figure out that I didn't like the advice (since they think they know me when I do not know myself that well). So I get abit angry, abit sad and a bit frustrated each time I wanna tell someone about something I think I wanna do, and then expect them to give me advice on the stuff.

How shall I conquer this? How shall I make myself feel much more powerfull in myself so I can say no to advice I do not like and thank you to the advice I like, becoming more thankfull but at the same time not lame and going into the direction I always end up with. Trying out the advice and left with a feeling it is not me, but them who do want me to be like that? (Sometimes I fear so much that I need to be everything everyone is telling me to be that I end up giving up myself). How can I find strengh to get them to understand that I need time to think about it, and that it is ok to not give me advice all the time. Since I feel so tired when they try to give me advice.

I also need to show that I can change my mind and say to people that they were right when I was wrong too. Sometimes I feel so lost and so trapped into being either myself or the good girl that I seem to get nowere in finding a middle road.

Anyone who feels like me? I am so tired of feeling alone in this struggle!

Love Leelene