I think very often people are bound by pain and lash out in kind when the going gets tough. Although this is no excuse, it does explain why someone would say something repeatedly that they don't really mean deep down. There is something so hurtful inside of her that is being directed at you, though it may or may not have anything to do with you at all.
I think you shoud let her know that her method of argument is unacceptable. Support her with the counseling she is receiving. Come up with a way to deal with disagreements that is more calm and kind in approach. Do this together. Sit down when there isn't a big bust up going on and ask her to tell you truthfully how she feels about you and whether she is comitted to staying in and improving the marriage. Listen carefully to her responses and try to calmly respond.
Beyond that, if she is unwilling to make an effort to change this pattern or if she truly does feel that way, I would recommend at the very least a separation. You do not have to continue living in such hurt. It will begin to affect even the strongest of people after a time.
Good luck.
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