I have nothing to add, but I'm with you! Lots of love. Take care of yourself.
What about your boys? are they fine? I know from my own experience that having a dad who "relied more and more on substances and got meaner and more distant. He would treat us all terribly, disapear for days" (that's exactly my father) and a mom with problems is a hard thing for a child. Even if they seem to be happy and normal, I would take a hard look at your boys' emotional health and self-esteem and maybe help them in some way. I would have needed some help as a child/teenager.
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