Angela hit on the self-confidence issues very well as always, so I'll give my take on the guy.
My read on your message, Honey, is that you're with a basically good guy who got burned pretty badly by his first wife. Is that accurate? If that's the case, I'd say give him some time and keep gently pushing him to see that counselor. You don't want to wait forever, of course, but wounds like that can run very deep from what I've seen. He may be permanently gun shy or he may get over it, but it's going to take time and you basically need to decide if you're willing to commit to that.
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