Has she told you to stop contacting her? If she has, the only honorable thing to do is respect that request. Any resolution you want to achieve will have to be solely within yourself (it sounds like that's the place it's needed, anyway.) Don't be a stalker!
But if she hasn't asked to you to stop contacting her, why not write her a little note taking responsibility for what you did to hurt her, apologizing, making a commitment to her never to do that thing again, and letting her know you'd like to be her friend? Without making any demands of her, of course. You might want to thank her for what you've learned from the relationship, too. Keep the whole thing short and concise. Mail it, and trust that she'll do the right thing for herself. She doesn't owe you a response, so don't push for one or fret about it.
A note like this could be really good because you'll avoid any discomfort she might feel being put on the spot by a phone call or in-person meeting. It could be really good for you because putting your thoughts and feelings about the past in writing is a great way to get them out of your head, where they are taking up valuable real estate. (maybe you could write a long version of the same letter to yourself -- do not mail.)
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